Have you ever noticed how some of the loudest parenting mentors online seem to live in two completely different realities at once? On one side, they preach relentlessly that children imitate what their parents do. On the other, they boast that their own kids have never so much as touched a smartphone, tablet, or laptop—as if the glow of Wi-Fi has never crossed their innocent path. Doesn’t that sound, at best, inconsistent? And at worst, slightly unbelievable?
Picture this: a father recording yet another video about “mindful parenting” on his phone, uploading it to Instagram, surrounded by lights and cables—while in the background his child is told that screens are dangerous and must be avoided at all costs. If children really learn by example, what exactly is that example teaching?
The Mirror of Behaviour
We know intuitively—and research has confirmed it time and again—that children absorb far more from what parents embody than from what they instruct. The oft-quoted maxim that “children learn by example” is not merely an aphorism; it is a psychological reality. When a parent models constant engagement with a device, whether for work or leisure, a child notices. They may not be able to decode the spreadsheets, the client calls, or the online lectures, but they grasp the central truth: this screen matters to Mum or Dad.
To then claim that one’s own children are somehow shielded from this influence, kept “Wi-Fi virgins,” is not only implausible but dismissive of the child’s innate intelligence. Children see the glow of the device, hear the click of the keys, and sense the magnetic pull of attention. Even if the gadget is forbidden, its significance is communicated—ironically more powerfully—by the very act of prohibition.
The Digital Economy of Parenting
Let’s address the elephant in the virtual room: many who offer parenting advice online make their living through the very medium they restrict for their children. This introduces a dissonance. If digital spaces are hazardous, why build an entire career within them? If they are fruitful—providing income, influence, and community—why deny children even the faintest chance of learning to navigate them wisely?
It is easy to romanticise a childhood free of pixels, conjuring images of wooden toys, fields, and endless imagination. But nostalgia cannot erase the context of today’s world: education, communication, creativity, and even basic social participation are digitally mediated. To exclude children entirely is not to protect them, but to risk rendering them illiterate in the very language of their generation.
The Myth of the “Pure Childhood”
Some parents fear that screens will corrupt the sanctity of play, the purity of curiosity. Yet history shows that every era has wrestled with its own “corrupting” innovations. The novel was once accused of rotting young minds. The radio was feared for distracting youth from serious study. Television was lambasted for shortening attention spans. Each of these technologies, in time, became woven into the cultural fabric.
The real question is not whether children should encounter technology—it is how, when, and with what guidance. To frame digital exposure as inherently destructive is to ignore its potential as a tool for creativity, connection, and even resilience.
Authentic Mentorship Requires Consistency
If we return to the voices online who insist they are mentors to parents, the credibility gap becomes clear. A mentor who thrives in digital spaces yet insists that children must remain untouched by them offers a form of selective truth. True mentorship requires congruence: practicing what one preaches, and acknowledging the full complexity of the world rather than retreating into absolutism.
Children will not be protected by digital abstinence. They will be protected by parents who model balance—who show how to create rather than merely consume, how to rest rather than endlessly scroll, how to question rather than absorb passively. The real “Wi-Fi virginity” worth preserving is not an absence of access, but a freshness of perspective: the ability to step into the digital arena with curiosity, discernment, and self-control.
A Call for Honest Dialogue
Let’s be honest, then. Parenting in the digital age is messy, complicated, and often contradictory. There are no pristine solutions, no universal blueprints. But there is a responsibility—to our children and to ourselves—to acknowledge reality. The internet exists. It is not going away. We can reject its worst excesses while still embracing its possibilities.
The most credible voices are not those who shout from the safety of curated contradictions, but those who admit the struggle, model the effort, and walk alongside their children in learning how to live well with technology. Anything less is not mentorship—it is performance.
So the next time you hear someone preaching “no screens at all,” ask yourself: is that advice grounded in the real world, or is it a performance for the algorithm?
And perhaps more importantly: what do your children really learn—not from what you tell them, but from what you do when you think no one is watching?