In some distant corner of the digital wilderness, a new spiritual figure arises. Barefoot (on screen), humble (by caption), and deeply aligned (with your bank account).
Neither doctor, nor teacher, nor psychologist. Yet offering solutions for all three—with a herbal tea in one hand and bank details in the other.
Welcome to the temple of algorithmic mysticism, where every problem has a frequency, every ailment a downloadable worksheet, and every anxious parent is just one “session” away from becoming a certified “lightworker.”
And the high priestess?
No teaching here. Only permission to pretend that everything is already known.
Qualifications? “Lived experience.”
Evidence? “Resonance.”
Disclaimers? Buried deeper than Atlantis.
Notice the pattern:
No accountability.
No critical inquiry.
No room for difference.
Only endless echoes of “Yesss, Sooo aligned,” and “This gave me chills.”
These are neither clients—nor masterminds. Just echo chambers with profile pictures.
This is not mentorship. It is algorithmic cult grooming, repackaged in soft fonts and crescent moons — and, in all likelihood, the odd emoji of a dead sea mollusc shell.
“We don’t do marketing research.” (Sure, let’s pretend that’s true.)
Of course not. Research implies responsibility. And accountability is inconvenient when truths are invented on the spot.
"We don’t pretend to be someone we’re not.” (Though by saying that, you’re pretty much doing exactly that.)
True enough. Exactly who appears:
A persuasive spiritual predator who’s realised that desperation is a market, happily monetising its weakest points.
🧠 Let’s get serious for a moment.
Removing children from school out of disillusionment with the system is one thing.
But publicly romanticising that choice, then marketing it as a “sacred path” for other families—without understanding child development, pedagogy, or legal consequences—is not rebellion.
It’s negligence with an Etsy filter.
This is not building a movement.
It’s building a pipeline of indoctrinated brand ambassadors, too polite or too traumatised to push back.
If empowerment means shaming education, worshipping intuition, and demonising technology—while simultaneously glued to the internet, selling “clarity” for 44💸/hour, and scripting every breath of one’s child around a spiritual aesthetic—
This is not mentorship.
It’s a meme in the making.
Final note to readers:
If it smells like ego, sells like enlightenment, and hides behind “love and light” whenever questioned—
💡 It’s not authenticity.
It’s spiritual marketing with a God complex.
And no, a compost pile does not make someone a prophet.🙄